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Poetry from PAC – “Dear Mama”

Through poetry, PAC Member Lady Doll responds to familial reactions to her coming out as trans.

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Warning: The following poem conveys a personal account of physical and verbal abuse, and has not been edited in any way. Proceed with caution if you may be triggered by these topics or the use of profanity and derogatory slurs.


“Dear Mama,” by Lady Doll.

Why punish me for your confusion?

Why am I a faggot? Because you can’t have it?

Why beat me, like it’s going to change me?

Wake up! Because you can’t change me nor break me!

I will not let you make me!

All my life I’ve been too busy trying to make you happy, I don’t care call me sassy!

I have a right to be classy!

Yesterday I was your son,

Today I’m your daughter!

You hate me, you disown me!

It hurts so bad, that you

brought me into this world to live hell. But what you fail to

realize is that you’re not hurting

no one more than yourself.

I love you. But I don’t like you.

You could’ve done so much more besides keep me and torment me.

Hating you be too easy.

Plus I never think I could.

You’re my mother, and I’m happy to say

that today you’re no bother.

You’ve told me to forget about you, I can’t do that.

I came from you. All I ever wanted is to be loved.

Is that too much to ask of you?

I was born this way!

Thanks to you, I’m the woman I am today.

Always remember,

God don’t like ugly!

Oh yeah,

before I forget, a little food for thought:

I’m more of a woman than you’ll ever be,

and more of a man than you’ll ever have.

PS I love you mama!

Sincerely, your daughter,

Lady Doll

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The Sylvia Rivera Law Project (SRLP) works to guarantee that all people are free to self-determine gender identity and expression, regardless of income or race, and without facing harassment, discrimination or violence.

This blog, which features letters from our Prisoner Advisory Committee (PAC) members, is just one way we overcome the enormous state-created barriers to communication and political participation for the people who are most affected by the prison system.

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